Sometimes in the attempt to be positive, we have to weed out the negative. Those things in our life that mire us down and keep us from living our full potential. I call it “weeding the garden”. Often it is things, possessions and yes sometimes even people. It is something that is learned over time as our lives get crowed with excess baggage that at some point we determine just needs to go.
I have never been one of those people that feel like I need to have a thousand friends to feel complete, no matter who they are and what they contribute, or don’t contribute to my life. Most of my friends are people who have been in my life for many years, while there are others that are just passing acquaintances. However, even those that may have played a prominent place at some point have to be evaluated occasionally to see if the weight of the relationship is equal. We have to determine if it is so one sided that it lacks the definition of a true friendship to the point that it saps the energy that you need to devote to those that are truly emotionally giving in return. Those are the unhealthy ones.
There are many reasons that we tend to hold onto those not so healthy relationships. They need us more than we need them, to the point that they drain our life energy and leave nothing left for others. Think about it. Are you the one that is always making the call to get together and do something without your phone ever ringing asking you to do the same? Are you the one that is providing constant emotional support, yet when the time comes where you are in need that person is no where to be found to support you? Are you the one that leaves every encounter with your “friend” emotionally exhausted when the other person lives rejuvenated and ready to move on to their next victim? Yes, I said victim.
Sometimes this happens without us ever realizing it until we take the opportunity to sit down and take inventory of how valuable the friendship is to both sides. I truly believe that we are doing them as much harm as good by using all our life energy to try and make their life better and leaving us very little life energy to focus on those that care about us as much as we care about them. Understanding that there are times when our friends will be in need, there are naturally going to be circumstances where we should devote all our energy to being there for our friend when they need it most. It is when that becomes the requirement 100% of the time, yet we find ourselves needing a little of that support in return with out getting it that we have to reevaluate.
If you haven’t taken an inventory of your garden lately and you are feeling emotionally exhausted and drained by some of your relationships, maybe now is the time to do it. If you find that the weeds are keeping you from being emotionally satisfied with your relationship, then perhaps its time to do a little pruning to ensure that you have the fertilizer you need to continue to make those relationships that are most meaningful grow.
Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.
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